I often feel uncomfortable talking to my parents about
relationships. We often get very passionate about what we are arguing and
create a defensive climate. We often disagree because I think that young
couples should move in together before they get married. My parents disagree
and believe that no couple should jump into moving in together unless they have
an established commitment like a marriage (or an engagement). Instead of using
provisionalism my parents often use certainty. Certainty is language that is
often absolute and only conveys one answer, where provisionalism communicates
and openness to others views (Wood 208). This is the most apparent use of
Gibb’s behaviors that I see when I speak with my parents. I realize that if we
use more of this language to gain a sense of openness in our conversations we
will be better off. We will be able walk away with the sense of “it’s okay if
we disagree”.
I can relate to how you and your parents get uncomfortable with talking about relationships. Growing up in a semi-strict and conservative household, my parents tend to be very private and closed off when it comes to me dating. They obviously believe that I should not jump into big decisions with a man, even though I believe that I'm ready to. Just like your parents, mine use certainty too. I am never allowed to reason with them and once they make up their mind about a certain situation, nothing I do or say can change it anymore. That really is sad to me, but I’ve learned to accept it.
ReplyDeleteSimilar to you, I often feel uncomfortable talking to my parents about my relationships. It can be very difficult if your parents don’t see the situation the way you do. It also is not fun when your parents don’t agree with a decision you have made. Using certainty for an argument against yours also sucks because it is a definite answer that more than likely will not change. The language we use has a great affect on a conversation, and using certainly has a great deal to do with this. I’m sorry your parent’s don’t see eye to eye with you but like you said, sometimes its ok to agree to disagree.
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