September 24- 30 (Discussion #3)

In this weeks' chapter I was very intrigued on the guidelines for effective listening. There are three parts that compose this including "be mindful", "adapt listening appropriately", and "listen actively". To sum it up the chapter suggests that mindfulness includes committing to another person and using interpersonal communication to understand there messages. Listening appropriately suggest listening without distractions and engage in expressing yourself. Listen actively means that we must be willing to listen effectively and interpret was is actually being said. It is nice that there are guidelines that help understand and break down the listening process. I have realized that I have to do the first step more and "be mindful" of what others are saying as well as the meaning behind it. Its easy to hear the words that someone speaks but more difficult to understand their intentions or message. Although the process of listening is tedious, it has been helpful in progressing my listening skills.

September 24-30 (Discussion #2)

After reading “Listening is a 10 part Skill”, I was able to understand what I was missing from my own listening regimen. I often am very attentive when I listen but I don’t follow the second guideline which is “judge by content, not delivery”. I have a hard time understanding the message behind one’s communication. It is difficult for me to listen to others when I have already passed certain judgment on the way that they communicate. It is a terrible habit! I realized that I am pretty good at “listening for ideas”. It is difficult to remember important facts when you’re hearing so much during a normal conversation. But I have found that jogging my memory to remember what I had heard is the best way to retain it and still manage to listen. In all I learned that listening is a process that takes work “and could be mastered with a little effort” like the author said.

September 24-30 (Discussion #1)

I would have never guessed there were so many forms of non-listening. When I came across each one I thought of myself or someone close that I knew that fit the description perfectly. I unfortunately am a defensive listener. Defensive listening is “perceiving personal attacks, criticism, or hostility in communication that is not critical of mean- spirited” (Wood 158). I have definitely known that I am a defensive person but could never put it into words or find a way to explain it. Once I read this I could think of plenty of times where someone I am conversing with tries to compliment me and I tend to take it the wrong way or pull the negative from it. For example, if my boyfriend were to say “You look pretty today”, I respond with “What are you saying, I don’t look pretty every other day”. Its so ridiculous looking back and acknowledging that my responses are so petty but it just slips out! I have figured out that to fix this, I have to see the positive in others and not assume the worst all the time. I have to really listen to what the person is saying and not look for hidden meanings when the person truly has good intentions. 

September 10-16 Discussion #3

In this weeks reading I found the topic of speech communities to be fascinating. As defined in the book it is “when people share norms about how to use talk and what purposes it serves”(Labov 1972) (Wood 108). It describes these communities that are not connected by which language they speak but more how they use it to communicate. This means using language to be more assertive versus passive.  Being both Cuban and Filipino I have noticed from my own personal experience that each culture using their speech as a way to communicate in two different ways. The Cuban side of my family uses their speech very boldly with a great emphasis on story telling while the Filipino side uses speech in a more timid and inert type of way. These would represent certain speech communities that are able to find how to interact in order to communicate effectively.

September 10-16 (Discussion #2)

I learned that hate speech is defined as any type of communication that is used to threaten or induce prejudice upon others. Anyone can engage in it but it is prominent in protest type groups that join for a commonality like race, gender, or religion. It has been difficult to regulate hate speech because some fight to protect it under the constitutional right of free speech. I think hate speech should be more harshly regulated especially on the web. Now that social networking sites are so commonly used they have become an easy avenue for people to use hate speech to target others. It is often hard to keep track of and prosecute as the laws have not caught up with the technologies of today. Although I believe in the right to freedom of speech, I think hate speech should be the exception. Hate speech does nothing but build animosity and ruin the quality of life around us. There are less formal ways like education. I think implementing anti-bullying programs in schools to teach kids the foundation and basics of hate crime would be the first step.

September 10-16 ( Discussion #1)

I would propose something similar to Reverend Jesse Jackson’s like a box of assorted chocolates. A box of chocolate contains pieces with different fillings and nuts. The different fillings represent different races and cultures while the chocolate represents our human race as a whole. We may be part of an array of races but in the end we are all unified as people. In my opinion I like both metaphors that were proposed for American society. I think the melting pot metaphor was used to remind us that even though our nation is being filled with different races to not let that divide us or separate us into different categories. The point was to prove unity and color blindness.  At the same time I understand how others may criticize that and propose the quilt reference as a better metaphor. The quilt metaphor is also a good one because it shows us that it is okay for us to see “color” as long as we appreciate it. I like both metaphors and I appreciate the positive message they are trying to send regarding our American society.

September 3-9 (Discussion #3)

I found the concept of self-fulfilling prophecies to be very interesting. It is the idea that when you expect something to occur you may begin to act in a way that impacts the outcome to happen in the way you expected. For example, if I believe I am a bad student because my former teachers have always put me down or made me feel inept;  I may start to miss class or not try as hard with homework because I already have it in my mind that I am a failure. So in turn I begin to act like one, not because it is true but because I believe and expect it to be true. Young children who are presented with negative expectations of themselves by adults are the ones who are affected the most. They are at an age where they cannot comprehend the psychological effects of labels and generalizations, so they respond very personally to comments made about them, both negative and positive. It is interesting to see how the human mind can self-fulfill these certain ideas of expectations that may not be ones we created for ourselves.

September 3-9 (Discussion #2)

Race as described in the book is “considered a primary aspect of personal identity”(Wood 49). I have  viewed race as a way to identify a piece of a person but not used to be a direct reflection of who someone truly is. Race is just one aspect that someone may use to build a social construction or view of themselves. Others may identify themselves by their culture, skin color, talents, characteristics etc. I don’t think that race is a good way to classify people because unfortunately our society cannot view race without bias or stigmas attached. Although we are diverse and become more tolerant as a nation, it is still hard for our society to pass little judgment on others due to their background. People should not be classified and segregated by race because it is usually irrelevant information in my eyes (standardized testing etc). I strongly believe that the Census Bureau should allow people to check multiple races to define themselves. A person who is multiracial should be allowed to check box multiple races or check box a multiracial category. It may seem insignificant to have a multiracial person check one race over the other. Many ask, “what’s the big deal?”. Well, in my case I am half Cuban and half Filipino. I am also first generation American. So for me, having to choose on any document one race over the other runs emotionally deeper for me than just the piece of paper. It’s like asking me to pick between my mom and my dad. It is a terrible feeling, especially when I feel as though I identify with both. The Census Bureau should allow people to express their identities to the full extent and allow them to disclose what their race is, if they choose to do so.

September 3-9 (Discussion #1)

When I went on a search to find men and women that were 20 and 40 years older than me, I thought “who better than my own parents and grandparents”.

Surprisingly, I found that my parents and grandparents had similar points of view even with having a generation in between them. I found that in my grandparent’s time, women’s sole purposes were to be good housewives. A woman was not judged by her intelligence or her worldliness, she was judged by how clean her house was. During their time it was unheard of for a man to not have a job. Men and women were expected to have long relationships that were closely chaperoned at all times and then move to marriage soon thereafter. Then after that came a family etc. It was inappropriate for women to think of having a career or do anything else but serve her husband.  Throughout my parent’s time it didn’t seem as though things were as extreme but similar values still arose. For example, when they spoke about expectations women were to look forward to starting marriages and families while men were expected to have stable jobs/careers. Women were expected to live at home until marriage and not to focus on a career path. Men were expected to become providers and prepare to take care of a woman. It was inappropriate for women to take on men’s roles  and for couples to live together without being married.

The similar pattern that I found is that it was very centered around men being the providers and women being the caretakers of the home and family. There was still a clear separation of gender roles and what is appropriate for a man versus a woman. The life goals were very much based on marriage and a woman catering to a man or a man providing for woman/family. There was no room for a person to take time for themselves and  explore what truly makes them happy. It was unheard of for a young woman like myself at the age of 22 to leave to college to study and travel the world for leisure. At 22 both my mom and grandma were both married with their first child! What a change 2 generations makes!

 

Discussion 2

The relationship I have had that has grown closer over time is the one with my boyfriend. The early stage of the relationship was great and very interesting. We grew close very fast and I began feeling like we knew everything about each other!  We hit it off wonderfully and found that we had many similarities as well as differences. It is an I-You relationship. Over the span of a year I thought there wasn’t much more to learn but until this day I learn new things about them every day. We talked about each other’s upbringing, our past experiences, our likes/dislikes, and what our future goals were. We tended to avoid politics as we have very opposite views on that. I am more spontaneous and he is more calculated as well as analytical. After many debates about certain subjects we began to realize that we can “agree to disagree”. It has worked out a lot better that way. Our fields of experience differ but we have found that it has broadened our perspectives. He is very internal when it comes to his emotions and analyzes everything. I am able to express myself anytime anywhere! It has helped us grow closer because we’ve taught each other patience and tolerance for other views.

Week 2 : Discussion 2

Linear models display a one sided way of communicating with another. The linear model describes communication between two people; one being a sender and the other being a receiver. One person speaks as the other listens without responding. The interactive model requires interaction between both parties in the conversation. It is described as a two way process instead of one process like the linear model.

I seem to have both types of communication with different people in my life. The linear model reminds me of the conversations I have with my mom. She usually is lecturing me or giving me advice which leads her to being the sender and me being the receiver. The conversations that I engage in with my friends are very collaborative in the sense that we both contribute to the conversation. We switch roles throughout the conversation as the speaker as well as the listener.

 I like to picture it as a navigation system where the linear model describes a direct route to a destination versus the interactive model that allows for alternate routes. Being a communications major has helped me understand and learn about all the various types of communication styles that are used in conversations.