October 15-21 (Discussion #3)

After reading chapter 8 I found that I really enjoyed the “Guidelines for Creating and Sustaining Healthy Climates”. It talks about how to create a confirming climate in all of your relationships. First you have to accept and confirm others by validating others even if we disagree with them. The second is to affirm and assert yourself by standing up for what you believe in even if the people around you don’t have the same opinions. The third is to respect diversity in your relationships by allowing people to be themselves and not try to change them. The last is to respond to criticism constructively by seeking out why people may be reacting toward you a certain way instead of dismissing their information. After looking over these various tips, I have noticed that I can personally change the climate around me without waiting for the other person to do so. 

October 15-21 (Discussion #2)

I often feel uncomfortable talking to my parents about relationships. We often get very passionate about what we are arguing and create a defensive climate. We often disagree because I think that young couples should move in together before they get married. My parents disagree and believe that no couple should jump into moving in together unless they have an established commitment like a marriage (or an engagement). Instead of using provisionalism my parents often use certainty. Certainty is language that is often absolute and only conveys one answer, where provisionalism communicates and openness to others views (Wood 208). This is the most apparent use of Gibb’s behaviors that I see when I speak with my parents. I realize that if we use more of this language to gain a sense of openness in our conversations we will be better off. We will be able walk away with the sense of “it’s okay if we disagree”. 

October 15-21 (Discussion #1)

I have found it extremely difficult to confirm others when I disagree with them. I find that I am very adamant about my opinions and forget to acknowledge other’s views. I wasn't sure how to tell the difference between the three terms but after reading the chapter I understood how they can coincide with each other. The first confirmation is recognizing.  You can recognize that another person exists with nonverbal behaviors and verbal communication. The second confirmation is acknowledgement. You can acknowledge what another feels, thinks, and says. We can acknowledge this by nodding our head and making eye contact. The last confirmation is endorsement. This involves accepting another’s feeling or thoughts. After reading the chapter I understand that endorsement “isn’t always possible if we are trying to be honest with others”. If we don’t agree with someone we may not always be able to give them an endorsing response. In order to confirm someone it must be genuine and sincere. There is a way to confirm someone without endorsing their thoughts. A person can acknowledge what another person is feeling but not necessarily agree with their thoughts. 

October 1-7 #1

After reading the chapter on emotions I am still in the process of understanding it. This chapter was not as relatable as the others have been and confused me a bit but the physiological influences on emotions made the most sense. Physiological responses are emotions that you experience that are directly reflected by external influences. When receiving a new car one may have the instant feeling of joy or giddiness. While if being chased by someone one may experience feelings of adrenaline and anxiety. These are both good examples that the book provides in order to show us these instinctual feelings that exist. These emotions are vary instantaneous and are from within. The other perspectives are not as simple for me to comprehend. Although I can picture the examples given very clearly in my mind, it would be hard for me to say I can define it as a whole.